SEO Gemini

For those of you that follow our account on Twitter you may have seen that we’ve noticed a few festive updates affecting the cyber city of search engine marketing (SEM) over the past week. We’ve taken a tour and gone through the top three we’ve seen, below is exactly what you need to know about each!

LinkedIn – livens up
It’s had a revamp! And not before it’s time either…I appreciate that it’s a professional platform however that doesn’t have to equal dull. If you’re actively on LinkedIn chances are you would have received an email around December 11 when the updates came into play – basically though – they have a new profile format. Not unlike when Twitter pushed out its new format or Facebook pushed out timeline.

First impressions are that the new profile is a lot more visually stimulating with larger logos and more immediately noticeable (Facebook déjà vu anyone?) profile updates right near the top, Slideshare thumbnails are more prominent if you have any uploaded presentations, current positions and endorsements are all in bigger fonts and there seem to be many more pictures and visual representations for example the circular way your LinkedIn network is portrayed. Each section has a cute little hallmark which is a nice touch too – I particularly like the scroll for education…I’m a geek though. A bolder and more fun format this gets an SEO Gemini thumbs up.

Other important points to note of the new profile are that the following LinkedIn apps are no longer be supported on the homepage or profile:

- Presentations
– My Travel
– LinkedIn Events

Also important to note is that not everyone will have the completely new profile yet with regards to showcasing rich content such as presentations, videos and documents…I was one of the lucky few it would seem! Oh shucks… I feel so special! #chuffed

Mailchimp – more monkeying around
Google+ incorporates a lot of drag and drop functionality into its features and it seems like Mailchimp has followed suit…and I LOVE IT! SEO Gemini thumbs up numero dos.

I love Mailchimp, not least because of the fun and totally random anecdotes whenever you log on but for the interface, transparency, efficiency and ease of use. They’ve now trumped themselves AND done their bit for mobile – even my Mum can figure out drag and drop for goodness sake! Their video demo is well worth a watch…see it here.

Dropbox – because sharing is caring
You can now share your Dropbox content…with ANYONE. Here’s the blurb from their email:

“Sharing files is a huge pain – you have to compress, attach, upload, and a bunch of other verbs that are a waste of your time. Forget that! We just invented the best way to get stuff from your computer to the rest of the world.”

Share with anyone – regardless of whether or not they use Dropbox. A powerful move and one I suspect that will yield a whole load of new festive signups when they see how generally awesome and unique this tool is. Do I hear someone say “cloud”?

Que SEO Gemini thumbs up numéro trois.

Note how the funky, innovative and forward-thinking platforms are pushing out updates over Christmas…ok this probably has something to do with hefty sales targets but it also speaks volumes about their drive and willingness to move with the times – digital is always changing, and these guys not only know it but use it advantageously.

Targeted link earning isn’t easy; it’s tedious, regularly has a low success ratio and isn’t time efficient. If you own a website chances are you’ll have had something come into your inbox subtly or unsubtly requesting a link. If the linkee puts the effort in with an original email and idea then as the linker, in my opinion one should always make the effort to reply. Having been on both ends of this frustrating aspect of online marketing I’ve grouped 5 ways of how NOT to do link outreach and instead, secure the best chance possible of receiving that all important reply – even if it’s a no – remember you’re still forging a relationship which could prove mutually beneficial in future.

1. DON’T Send a generic mail
It’s immediately transparent, unlikely to be read and even slightly insulting to receive. If someone has just found your website, seen the stats and sent out something impersonal that 10 other website owners are probably blind cc’d in on then why should you consider looking for an opportunity to link out to them on your site and visit their URL? Some of them get so annoying I’m even tempted to name and shame. Therefore…make it personal, this will bring you from perhaps a 1% chance of getting something back to at least a 20% chance.

2. DON’T Ask without researching exactly where and why you feel justified in asking for a link
This is another good one – don’t send anything to anyone without first doing your research. When you find a site, spend time on it. Look for the page where you think a link would be a good and relevant fit and explain why to them. This helps with point 1 in creating individuality with each email request too – the downfall of course being that you will spend significant amount of time on something that may or may not come to fruition.

3. DON’T Offer things (such as traffic) that you can’t deliver on
This is another good one – empty promises. I’ve been asked before about those emails whereby the linkee is requesting a link from you and offers you two back to your website in return; don’t fall for it. The chances are that they’ll want one from your site which will have say, a page rank of 40/100, in return for 2 from one of their pages with a corresponding rank of say, 12/100. The value they get is still far greater even if they do give you two links to their one and also, in terms of SEO it’s likely that Google will only count one of them anyway! Do offer site owners something in return though when doing your outreach, for example you could say “I can promote your site to our social network of 500 Twitter followers and on our Facebook page which has a weekly reach of 4000”. Be honest and realistic in what you can deliver but definitely offer out some sort of incentive, it’s in this situation I believe where reciprocal links can be white hat and a good idea.

4. DON’T hassle
The only thing more aggravating than a general, spit out of a machine link outreach email is 5 spit out of a machine link outreach emails! By all means follow up if you don’t get a response as this can show you were serious with your initial request and had intent behind the outreach, don’t incessantly spin out the same email again and again though. Be polite and individual with your follow up and don’t be afraid of doing it. For busy website owners, responding to outreach emails will be last on their priorities list so don’t shy away from it – there is a good chance they will have intended to respond but not had an adequate chance to follow up with you yet. Of course if you do get a response, it’s important to be timely and prompt with your ongoing correspondence.

5. DON’T be bland, be original
I always give cool points and am more likely to consider a request if it’s original. So add a bit of humour, refer to a blog post on the website in question you may have read recently or mention an issue in the news related to the website’s niche – even silly graphics can earn great brownie points. If you can make someone give a good natured chuckle with your outreach email they’re far more likely to respond and engage with your idea.

Any more out there? Leave your comments below.

Well that’s a stupid title…it’s always changing, however what I mean is – is it changing substantially enough for us to sit up and take notice. In my last post I wrote about mobile search and this week’s mentions it again. A blog which came out in November on SEOmoz analysed a massive $1 billion in Adwords spend…which apparently equated to a reduction in Google’s revenue somehow! But now I’ve finally caught the mobile bug I can’t stop investigating…here’s an excerpt:

“According to Google, CPC’s were down by “approximately 15%” and year over year advertising revenue growth rates declined from 21% to 16%. Industry analysts are placing the blame for slowing ad revenue growth rates squarely on mobile search, which is said to monetize on average at roughly half the value of a desktop search.” Read the complete post here.

Reduced Ad Clicks on Mobile
This whole blog puzzled me until this insight made the lights finally come on, with so many people searching on mobiles now (obviously this varies greatly, B2C I imagine has far more traffic than B2B on mobile) but if someone’s searching, they’re intent is arguably even greater than on desktop. If you’re on the move you’re not likely to be browsing, you’re going somewhere for something – hence, why would you apathetically click on an ad you see just because you fancy it?

As a side note mobile search is expected to exceed desktop search…and soon, as in two years soon! #situpandtakenote.

Here’s hoping the mobile optimisation “how to” guides for those without the budget to create an entirely new mobile site come out soon!

Small Businesses
From my own research into various PPC campaigns I’ve found that for small businesses (between 1-8 employees) it…er… isn’t great. Sure it drives traffic but for smaller businesses who perhaps can’t afford to monitor it 3 times a day and adjust accordingly, who don’t have the bigger budgets sure it generates traffic but from what I’ve seen this is empty traffic. (Feel free to tell me how better to optimise client PPC campaigns by the way – all tips welcome!)

My Research
Based on client research when I compare what I perceive to be quality visits I find PPC to not overly deliver. To average the numbers out between the PPC accounts I have access to I would say PPC visits are of a duration less than thirty seconds and yield no more than 1.5 pages per visit. Compare this to organic visits which appear to be an average of between 3-5 pages per visit depending on the site and goals and of duration well in excess of 1 minute 30 seconds and I’m struggling to see the PPC benefit for small businesses. I’ve found a blog post that supports this idea beautifully…read it here.

 So, PPC for small businesses when bringing mobile into the equation? Hmmm – not sold!

We’ve all heard it before, and we’re all tired of hearing it – WAIT, STOP EVERYTHING…MOBILE IS COMING!!! With the same seemingly unending enthusiasm accompanying the “news” every time – I’ve been hearing this for between 2-3 years now…

Could it finally be on its way though? There have been a few news items and other indicators I’ve observed recently that make me think it could well be (albeit a few years overdue). Shocking I know but I think its true – for a few industries anyway and in a different way to what we’d automatically think. See my 6 reasons below:

1. Mobile Conversions Can Be Defined By Calls to the Business
The parameters and precise definitions as to what counts as a completed conversion is of course, largely variable. It can be a URL, a sale, a phone call, a contact request or a whitepaper download. We can generally figure out what will count as a desktop website conversion though when we discuss the internet objectives with the business owner and look at the type of business we’re dealing with. But how does this transition to mobile? If you have a dedicated mobile site then of course, you can set these up just as you would with the desktop website – however I still think in this instance mobile conversions are going to be low when compared to desktop conversions.

Where I think mobile could come into its own is with monitoring phone queries and initial contact emails – I can’t imagine someone purchasing a product on their phone, I can though see them Googling a business, locating their number and calling them up. In which case a) mobile search could indeed be here and as big as they say and b) businesses need a website where their contact information is easily accessible and viewable by mobile!

Additionally for this though, branding becomes even more important. If someone is looking for a specific address or phone number for a particular business, they’ve got to have heard about the business prior to searching for it on Google…

2. Mobile Searchers Convert More
Check out this news item on Mobile Search Conversions. Thoughts? Mine are that a) since large companies are looking at this perhaps we should be too b) that mobile will prove more profitable for certain industries over others i.e. travel and c) that two of the three top mobile search activities included in this post are to do with locating contact details quickly and on the go, reiterating my above point about businesses having their contact information viewable, easily accessible and quick to download via mobile.

3. Appstack 
I blogged about this company back in June 2012, Appstack – the winner of Best Business Model in the US. They’ve had investment from Google…and their product is linked in with Adwords. They’ve also reported good growth too in a short period of time and are not short of investors. Perhaps this company is a useful indicator of what’s going on in the US which will surely make its way over to the UK, offering a cheap way to create, monitor and monetize a mobile website for your business.

4. AdWords Keyword Research Tool
I’ve only looked briefly but I wonder about monitoring mobile search volume using the desktop vs. mobile devices search filter on the Google Adwords tool. I’ve set up 10 keywords which I’ll monitor and include in a later blog. At present though mobile searches get about 20% the search volume that desktop searches do for terms about estate agents, Italian restaurants, car parks, central London pubs and gift ideas. Property and cars get less than 20% whilst interestingly; searches about cinema listings and costs of items such as iPhone get upwards of 65% the amount of searches that the desktop searches get. Definitely something that seems to be industry specific.

5. Response of Big Retailers
The keyword here is retailers; again I wonder about the impact of mobile search for those less obvious industries. If I do a mobile search now for John Lewis, Tesco or any other big brands I expect to see a mobile site pop up on my iPhone or tablet. If I don’t, I think badly on the company, therefore if jumping on the bandwagon is your marker for if an initiative is taking off or not, this one certainly is.

6. Google AdWords Spend Analysis
Read this fantastic post on AdWords spend. One of the five insights which made me think most was the one about mobile search. This insight said that profits were down because mobile search monetized far less effectively than desktop search. From this I believe I’m correct in assuming that mobile search gets a decent enough proportion of search volume to make an impact. As to why it does not monetize so effectively users are far less likely to click on ads when on a mobile, perhaps this could be because they are more likely to have a specific intent when searching, again something that makes mobile attractive for businesses.

So, there we have it, 6 indications why I think mobile could possibly be here – please leave your thoughts below, mine are – it’s about bloomin time.

Even though webmasters are aware of the importance of choosing a reliable web hosting service, few of them actually know that their hosting service usually counts for the sites’ SEO as well. Let’s take the hosting location and its impact on search engine optimization for instance: irrespective of the TLD of your country, if you work with a host provider from another geographical location, the search engine will interpret the domain name as relevant to that state, despite the fact that you have a generic TLD.

Que cloud servers
Let’s explore why cloud computing has the potential of altering the online business environment and how we work.

Major search engines love it
So, why switch to cloud computing? First off it’s a service that Google is quite fond of, so much so they even took some steps to accommodate it. With all the hysteria created by the Panda and Penguin updates, webmasters have overlooked the Caffeine update, an innovative search engine indexing system that was released back in 2010. Considering that one of the major advantages of cloud hosting entails the limitless scalability, I believe it’s pretty obvious why Matt Cutts considers that this service “rocks”.

Improves page speed
By creating an index system able to scan on huge scales, I believe that Google and other major search engines have actually made it very clear that page speed will become an important factor in SEO. If you’re aiming for a competitive place in the SERPs, you don’t stand a chance unless your websites are loading fast. The trump card of cloud hosting comprises of extremely fast delivery of the pages and hence, you can be certain you won’t receive any penalty/downgrading due to a poor page loading time.

Modifying the host location factor issue
Switching to cloud hosting provides a viable solution for ensuring your site will not get penalized due to the geographical location of the server. In fact, some SEO experts believe that cloud servers will revolutionize the hosting location factor altogether, especially since their popularity will force the search engines’ to change their algorithms in order to account for the advancement.

Essentially, it is very likely that the future will look something like this: if you currently have several local sites hosted in the cloud, they will be all perceived as general local sites by Google. Consequently, all your local websites will be treated equally and they will start competing with each other, while the winner will be the site with the most authority – as it should be.

Cloud computing is ideal for mobile platforms
As I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed, almost all competitive websites these days have a mobile alternative and ever since this trend appeared, it has reportedly provided substantial additional revenue for the business owners year on year….SOME business owners I might add – I’m still not sold on this one as mobile search has been “the next big thing” for a number of years now. If they are used though, mobile users need to utilize their devices to access information irrespective of their time and location, something for which the cloud hosting scalability of IT computing resources fits like a glove. In addition, it is necessary to mention that mobiles are a crucial factor in keeping the new generation of internet users engaged. Therefore, the versatility of cloud hosting is just the thing to meet users’ requirements.

Cloud hosting permits you to do your part for the environment
Since you will be running everything from the cloud, it automatically implies that you will be able to start using your resources more efficiently. For starters, you will not be requiring a different server to host each of your applications as they can all accessed in the cloud. In addition to saving you a lot of cash, you could also reduce your energy bill and as the cloud data centers typically work according to strict criteria focused on low energy consumption and social responsibility, you’d be doing your bit for the environment too. An all round winner it would seem!

Thanks to Chad for this post and for his recommendation of Host SEO as a good hosting provider.

Has anyone else noticed an influx of notification emails landing in their inbox regarding changes to terms and conditions lately? For an unregulated industry the tools we employ on an every day basis seem to be pretty regulated. This makes me uneasy…the pace of change in search engine marketing is lightning quick – that’s why we love it after all, but the rapidity with which the rules are changing is likely to make any search marketing professional a little fidgety, either that or I’ve seriously overdosed on the caffeine.

So, why the nervousness? Because we provide our clients an ethical service based on what we know to be…well, ethical. But if what’s ethical changes every few months, are we – despite the best intent – doing our clients a long term injustice? I’m very lucky in that I have great clients that are fantastic to work with…I want their HTML and link profile to kick the a*** of their competitors HTML and link profile! I don’t want to deliver them a bad service because I’ve done some great work that once was ok but now isn’t (I also need to get a life and stop making bad tech jokes) #embarrassed.

Self Portrait - Surprisingly True To Life

Bottom line is, we want to do the best for our clients playing within the goal posts – but if these are moving with increasing regularity and obscurity, maybe there is cause for concern. A few examples I’ve come across recently:

1. Adwords
“We’re making a policy enforcement change that could affect the performance of any AdWords campaign that uses sitelinks. If you use sitelinks now or plan to use sitelinks in the future, please continue reading to understand the changes and suggested steps that you can take to avoid any negative impact to your campaigns…”

Voila! Change one – Google LOVES Google Adwords, if there’s one tool that’ll be allowed to get away with stuff (ahem “not provided”) it’s Adwords. However the “proactive reinforcement of our existing policy” will come in to play and act on multiple sitelinks within adwords profiles that point to the same landing page. This was a shocker to read! A nice one though as I do agree with their action and am actually chuffed to bits they’re even taking Adwords action – hey, it makes us organic folk feel a lot better

2. Disavow Links
I know I know – my timings impeccable. Another tool and another set of terms and conditions. This was released just this week – but its something we like, something we like a lot – in fact I think a HURRAH is in order. All that negative SEO or whatever you want to call it, your name for tracking the source of the nasty links we didn’t put there that make our sites look bad is finally something we can fight against and report. Definitely one for the advanced webmasters out there and we’ve been advised not to use it but its good to know that it’s there if we need.

I have a thought on this – with Google’s updated privacy policy extending over all their products and now this; they are collecting yet more information and data.

Hmmm…however perhaps getting reports of bad links can help Google to find the proprietors of these heinous crimes (over reaction), and although they will be getting yet more information from us users…they’ll be using this as an effective and constructive way to fight spam (cue another HURRAH). If this is the case then I’m happy for my information to be used in this way, what the hell, they can even have my dress size if they want.

Although of course spammers could always use it too and intentionally report good links to Google getting them devalued and causing a site’s rankings to fall… just saying.

3. Cookies (not the gooey, chocolatey kind)
This one we’ve all heard of. It promised mayhem and chaos but delivered much like the millennium bug of 2000, a minor, uneventful ripple. The pretty much un-enforceable law concerning users consenting to cookies being used to track their activity on each and every site they’ve visited (really…) caused a lot of disputes and the conditions set out in it were so ambiguous that the most innocent of internet users could be disobeying the law without knowing. It was impractical, clear as mud and caused a lot of grief, and hey it’s just one more thing for us to keep an eye on.

4. Facebook
We’ve always got those Facebook settings we’re continually having to change to ensure our precious and private information and photos don’t end up on a stray app or in a newspaper somewhere (I’ve had personal experience of Facebook pictures being sold without consent and it’s not nice).

And what about Google’s privacy policy we touched on earlier that made it on to the BBC breakfast news? New terms and conditions concerning that too popped into the inbox for us to mull over with a cup of tea and the morning paper.

Are your nerves in shreds yet?

I appreciate I sound like a cynical old women but the rules are changing, who knows what’s going to happen next? My vote goes to an algorithm with the ability to automatically replenish the chocolate supply next to my desk – I think I might pitch that.

In my experience working with small to medium sized businesses who don’t have the capacity to have an employee solely dedicated to their social media campaign, I work alongside them to inspire them to use social media in the correct way to benefit their business themselves. I’ve had some successes (and far more numerous failures) to this aim! Please check out the 4 points I’d recommend in the below video.

SEOmoz have been (thankfully) hooking up their pro members with lots of free goodies…including Followerwonk, which trust me, when it comes to social and Twitter – you need in your life.

Check out some of the basic features in the infographic below created using easel.ly.

You can embed using the code below:

About the Author: Charlotte Waller

This post won’t be about SEO but it’s the one I’d like and appreciate people sharing more than any I’ve had on the blog before. To clarify what I want to achieve with this it’s to encourage women and men that have girlfriends, daughters, wives and female friends to go to their GP, get a smear done and be tested for cervical abnormalities.

To paint a bit of a picture about the background I turned 25 in June of this year, I’m a fitness freak, love running 26.2 miles every now and then, enjoy life to the full, smile pretty much all the time, (unless I’m out of chocolate), have a nutritious diet (irony noted) and have never smoked. I feel healthy in myself too and have no symptoms of anything untoward – yet I tested positive for cancer causing HPV.

The HPV virus caused abnormal cells to grow on my cervix which, by my twenty fifth year had spread through all three layers of the surface of my cervix and into my cervical canal. From this point, if left unchecked all the cells had left to do was get into the cervix itself and I would have had cancer, something which after speaking to my Doctor we estimated would have taken 1 maybe 2 years. So there I would have been; a healthy, full of vitality 26/27 year old girl…with invasive melanoma. The realization hit me hard and after suggestions and encouragement from the incredible friends and family who helped to get me through this and after reading that screening figures had fallen again in the years since Jade Goody, I decided that I wanted to make the issue prominent once more and encourage women everywhere to go and get tested.

Some people have said to me that I’m brave but I don’t buy it. I’m very lucky and it’s the least I should be doing to encourage other women to have the appropriate tests and treatment. I’m going to cover everything about my experience here to give as broad a picture as possible as to what’s involved for those who go through it, what are the facts, what are the stats and what to expect. So grab your popcorn or look at this if you don’t want to know the details!

The process

When you turn 25 you’ll get a letter through the post inviting you to go to your Doctor and have a smear test, yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it feels a little odd and unnatural but it’s by no means unbearable. It’s over in less than five minutes and your dignity is maintained at all times. If the thought of getting the test done puts you off, I can assure you it’s not that bad at all.

A few weeks later if the lab results show some level of abnormality you will get a phone call or letter through the post which can say a number of things although this may differ across GP surgeries.

The possible outcomes are:
- mild dyskaryosis (pronounced dis-kari-o-sis) meaning one third of the thickness of the skin covering the cervix has abnormal cells in it, these regularly return to normal by themselves and so you will most likely be asked to go for a repeat test in six months
- moderate dyskaryosis meaning abnormal cells can be found in two thirds of the thickness of the skin covering the cervix
- severe dyskaryosis meaning the abnormal cells can be found throughout all of the skin covering the cervix

My results came back with the diagnosis of severe dyskaryosis, and all you need to see is the bold header of the vomit-green A6 “Cancer Screening” pamphlet to become absolutely terrified at this point. My advice? If you can trust yourself to look briefly online you may well feel better by reading how common and easily treatable this condition is. Somehow though, given that my job revolves around knowing the internet inside out, after two hours scouring cyber space and reading hundreds of positive stories and finding just two bad ones I felt worse than ever. Try and leave the internet alone, call the Doctor, Nurse or NHS Direct (0845 4647) instead.

If you have moderate or severe dyskaryosis you will be given an appointment to go for a colposcopy. This is a scary sounding procedure that really isn’t so bad, the psychology of the process is far worse than the procedure itself. I’d recommend taking someone with you though – I went alone which was not my best day at the office!

Speaking from personal experience, when I went into the appointment the gynecologist put me at ease and asked a number of questions to learn about my history and current status such as if I smoked, my age etc. He then explained the process and drew a diagram to cater for my inability to understand medical terminology – all those years of “painting by numbers” finally paid off…

It’s important to note here that however unlikely it is, however much you plead and whatever format you put the question to him or her at this point the Doctor cannot tell you that you don’t have cancer, but please trust me, when the literature says it’s unlikely – they mean it. This procedure is a preventative screening process, catching the cells in their precancerous stage. It’s very unlikely even with severe dyskaryosis that you will already have cancer…which of course will do absolutely nothing at all to make you feel better at the time.

My advice at this point is to ask everything you want to ask however absurd – my gynecologist was presented with an iPhone note full of crazy “what ifs”. They won’t laugh, get annoyed or make you feel worse, they see this all the time and they will make you feel better. This is a fairly common and eminently treatable condition. The screening process is predominantly a preventative action and thanks to modern science and our national health service we can arrest this disease before it becomes too life threatening.

Emotive lecture over let us continue…

Depending on your age you will either get treated there and then ending the process and closing the chapter or in other cases such as mine, as I was so young and because of the risks involved with the treatment, the gynecologist was reluctant to treat me without being certain of how far the abnormal cells had spread. Instead they took a biopsy of the cells which were sent back to the lab for tests to establish the grade they were – more waiting.

The biopsy shows one of the following:
- CIN 1 (mild): may not need treatment
– CIN 2 (moderate): will need colposcopy and then depending on the biopsy result may need treatment
– CIN 3 (severe): will require colposcopy and likely need treatment. CIN 3 is sometimes also called CIS (carcinoma in situ) which sounds like cancer, but isn’t. It means that some of the cells look cancerous but they are all contained within the skin layer covering the cervix and removal of them will prevent cancer occurring.

These funny acronyms represent how far the f***ers, excuse me, abnormal cells have grown. From here, (please note I am speaking personally and have no medical experience) when the cells can be found on the glandular tissue in the cervical canal they are then called CGIN (Cervical Glandular Intra-epithelial Neoplasia). I then understand – this last stage did not happen to me so I cannot be certain, that after this stage they begin to enter the cervix itself which is when they are called cancer or invasive melanoma. I am not a doctor, so there may be inaccuracies in what I have just described however this is my understanding of the histology.

So, if as in my case, you don’t have treatment straight away your results come back and you need treatment here is what to expect:

If the cells are CIN2 or CIN3 you will have the procedure under local anaesthetic. If the cells are deeper than this i.e. CGIN you will go under general anaesthetic, however depending on the gynecologist and size of the affected area you may also get the option to go under local anaesthetic here too.

In my case, suspected CGIN and the abnormal cells going into my cervical canal, I had the option of going under general but decided to opt for local anaesthetic and would recommend this. I went into the surgery room at 17.55 and at 18.28 I was being driven home…ok I’m not one to feel sorry for myself so I pretty much hopped out of the horrendous looking chair with the stirrups (by the way there is NO way to do this gracefully), said I felt fine and marched myself out but still – even though I’m sure the recommended recovery time is longer I felt absolutely fine.

So, what happens?

You go in, ask more questions, the process is explained to you along with the risks and you sign your consent. The main risk of treatment is a 10% chance of giving birth prematurely – I’ll take those odds against cancer any day. I believe the reason for this is as you are having an area of your cervix removed, you are effectively weakening it. If you need the treatment again in future perhaps this figure may change.

You get undressed, get into the chair and kiss goodbye to being a lady for twenty minutes or so while the nurse chats to you about current events (in my case we’d just won a load of gold medals in the Olympics THANK GOD) to take your mind off what’s happening. Again I emphasize in my case dignity was maintained at all times and the staff at the hospital were incredible.

A speculum is inserted, and then an iodine dye which when spread over the area shows where the abnormal cells are, you are then asked to give a small cough which I believe is when you are given the local anaesthetic. Then the gynecologist gets their hot wire type contraption which lets out what isn’t the quietest noise in the world and burns those suckers out! They remove the cells, plus a space around them to ensure they have them all. Then voila, you’re done. It’s uncomfortable yes but it hardly hurts at all.

I’m not sure if this is true for all hospitals but if you don’t mind the gory stuff there was a monitor in my room where you could watch all the…er…action unfold. I surprised myself by finding I wanted to watch it, just to see them gone. I suspect people surprise themselves a lot in these situations; I felt like I’d had a parasite living inside me for weeks and I wanted to see for myself that the cells I so despised were out of my body.

Whoever you have with you will most likely not be allowed in the treatment room and you will be with the gynecologist and a nurse during the process. At the end of the procedure I was given a copy of the smear results and histology report to take home with me where I read the sweetest words I have ever seen over and over again “There is no evidence of invasive melanoma”.

So, what next?

This brings us up to date with my story. The cells that were taken out have been sent for testing to make sure they’ve all been removed after which the Doctor will call me to verify this, six months down the line I will then go for another colposcopy. If this comes back clear then happy days, mines a vodka lemonade – I can breathe again.

Conclusion

- This plays havoc with your mind, the psychology is far worse than the reality and your mind will make up horrible stories. Don’t let it falsely verify them by asking Google! As much as it pains me to say it there are some instances when Google doesn’t have the best answer.
- The worry isn’t over until it’s over. First you worry about the smear, then the colposcopy, then the results of the colposcopy, then even when you hear its not cancer you’re scared they got the results wrong and it is cancer, then you worry that the biopsy was wrong, then you worry they’re going to do the procedure and find out the cells have gone into the cervix after all, then you worry that they haven’t removed them all and they’re still there, then you worry that they’ll come back…There is no getting away from this annoying, seemingly indelible, part of human nature, so talk to the professionals, ask them questions, give this the appropriate energy then park it – it’s done. If you need to deal with it again in future you will.
- Get tested – we’re all busy, we all have things to do, but we can all take preventable action against cervical cancer. Make a Doctor’s appointment and get a cervical smear test.
- Perspective: nothing like a cancer scare to give you some of this! That kilo you gained on holiday? The toilet seat your boyfriend left up the other day? That bad day at work? Not so bad! Enjoy life and be grateful for your health, without it we wouldn’t be able to niggle at life’s imperfections nearly so much as we do.

The Facts and Statistics (also available here)

HPV:
1. HPV is very common; we’re all likely to have it at some point in our lives and our immune system usually fights it off on its own. You can have it if you have had 1 or 100 sexual partners and it’s when your immune system can’t fight the virus off naturally that the cervical abnormalities develop
2. We develop immunity to the HPV virus with age which is why its more common in younger people
3. There are many strains of HPV, only if you test positive for the high risk cancer causing ones (strains 16 or 18) will you require treatment
4. Working on your immunity can help your body to fight off HPV naturally. A fully functioning immune system can fight the virus which causes the abnormalities more effectively than a partially functioning one
5. The HPV vaccine given to teenagers isn’t 100% guaranteed to prevent cervical cancer and your suitability for it is dependent on being sexually active and other factors. If you’re passed the age where they give it currently or are an adult you won’t be suitable for it now.

Screening:
1. Screening is a preventative measure, it very rarely means you already have cancer, it’s designed to prevent you getting it
2. Treatment is around 95% effective
3. About 1 in 20 tests shows some level of abnormality
4. About 3-4 in every 100 tests show borderline changes
5. About 2 in every 100 tests show mild abnormalities (related to CIN1)
6. About 6-7 in every 1,000 tests show moderate or severe abnormalities (related to CIN2 and CIN3)
7. Less than 1 test in 1,000 has invasive or glandular neoplasia (related to CGIN), one of the more serious abnormalities. This suggests cervical cancer might be present but this is not proven until a biopsy has been taken at colposcopy.
8. Less than 1 in 1000 tests show invasive cancer
9. For women between 25 and 49, 3 yearly screening prevents 84 cervical cancers out of every 100 that would develop without screening
10. Almost half of the new cases of cervical cancer in the UK occur in women who have never had a smear test
11. Smoking increases your risk of developing these cells

Jade Goody:
1. Here is a link to her timeline if you’d like to recap. Her tragedy did an incredible job raising awareness however after an initial surge screening figures have now dropped again as per this article by the Daily Mail.
2. This is a great video – made only better by the mustache…some great points addressed and Jade Goody mentioned.

Points to remember:
1. When you go for your colposcopy try not to book an appointment for when you are on your period, its ok if its very light but going when its heavy is risky – always call up and check
2. You will feel incontinent for a few weeks after, like old age come early. My understanding is as the cervix heals (bucket at the ready) it secretes a clear discharge. It’s normal though and not dissimilar to having a clear period – just wear a sanitary towel
3. No heavy exercise for 4 weeks after treatment
4. No tampons for 4 weeks after treatment
5. I’ve read no flying for six weeks after treatment but I cannot verify this
6. No sex for 4 weeks after treatment
7. I had slight stomach ache for a few days after and I believe this is normal
8. If you have treatment you will have a smear in six months time and if this is clear, once a year for a number of years
9. By going for regular smears you will stay on top of it if the cells return and you will catch them in time

Notes:
* All stats are from sources I have read and respected but I cannot personally verify their validity.
* I am speaking from personal experience; others may have had different experiences to this. I am only going on the professionals and establishments I had treating me.

The Facts and Statistics

HPV:
1. HPV is very common; we’re all likely to have it at some point in our lives and our immune system usually fights it off on its own. You can have it if you have had 1 or 100 sexual partners and it’s when your immune system can’t fight the virus off naturally that the cervical abnormalities develop
2. We develop immunity to the HPV virus with age which is why its more common in younger people
3. There are many strains of HPV, only if you test positive for the high risk cancer causing ones (strains 16 or 18) will you require treatment
4. Working on your immunity can help your body to fight off HPV naturally. A fully functioning immune system can fight the virus which causes the abnormalities more effectively than a partially functioning one
5. The HPV vaccine given to teenagers isn’t 100% guaranteed to prevent cervical cancer and your suitability for it is dependent on being sexually active and other factors. If you’re passed the age where they give it currently or are an adult you won’t be suitable for it now.

Screening:
1. Screening is a preventative measure, it very rarely means you already have cancer, it’s designed to prevent you getting it
2. Treatment is around 95% effective
3. About 1 in 20 tests shows some level of abnormality
4. About 3-4 in every 100 tests show borderline changes
5. About 2 in every 100 tests show mild abnormalities (related to CIN1)
6. About 6-7 in every 1,000 tests show moderate or severe abnormalities (related to CIN2 and CIN3)
7. Less than 1 test in 1,000 has invasive or glandular neoplasia (related to CGIN), one of the more serious abnormalities. This suggests cervical cancer might be present but this is notproven until a biopsy has been taken at colposcopy.
8. Less than 1 in 1000 tests show invasive cancer
9. For women between 25 and 49, 3 yearly screening prevents 84 cervical cancers out of every 100 that would develop without screening
10. Almost half of the new cases of cervical cancer in the UK occur in women who have never had a smear test
11. Smoking increases your risk of developing these cells

Jade Goody:
1. Here is a link to her timeline if you’d like to recap. Her tragedy did an incredible job raising awareness however after an initial surge screening figures have now dropped again as per this article by the Daily Mail.
2. This is a great video – made only better by the mustache…some great points addressed and Jade Goody mentioned.

Points to remember:
1. When you go for your colposcopy try not to book an appointment for when you are on your period, its ok if its very light but going when its heavy is risky – always call up and check
2. You will feel incontinent for a few weeks after, like old age come early. My understanding is as the cervix heals (bucket at the ready) it secretes a clear discharge. It’s normal though and not dissimilar to having a clear period – just wear a sanitary towel
3. No heavy exercise for 4 weeks after treatment
4. No tampons for 4 weeks after treatment
5. I’ve read no flying for six weeks after treatment but I cannot verify this
6. No sex for 4 weeks after treatment
7. I had slight stomach ache for a few days after and I believe this is normal
8. If you have treatment you will have a smear in six months time and if this is clear, once a year for a number of years
9. By going for regular smears you will stay on top of it if the cells return and you will catch them in time

Notes:
* All stats are from sources I have read and respected but I cannot personally verify their validity.
* I am speaking from personal experience; others may have had different experiences to this. I am only going on the professionals and establishments I had treating me.